I seriously had to be ready to talk about all of this…. it has been a challenging but rewarding path.
Let this blog here be the start of my sharing my epic journey as a parent. I feel awful that I didn’t get to share my other two children’s stories as they were growing up. But I have shared with you some parenting tips with them throughout. I think it’s far more interesting when you actually get to see the children growing upon the values and morals that I teach in addition to reading about it. I want to start this blog with telling you, as every story should start, with the beginning.
My trials into motherhood
I have been alone for so long. Many know that I have not had a partner as I have put off relationships to serve in my mission to others. Its very hard to give my attention to so many people and have personal relationships too. Oracles have trouble maintaining them anyway, as you will find if you watch my “testimony” video on YouTube. I love everybody. I love everybody the same unconditionally, and equally. In a romantic relationship, the person may not understand that. I’m also not all that interested in intimacy either since I have transcended the need for that. I would much rather keep my energy my own, pure and crystalline. I use so much of that to heal others.￼￼￼￼ Therefore, I have opted to remain solo. I figure, I can give my love and my attention to everyone a lot better that way. A lot of people would wonder why that even matters, but if you were as dedicated in helping people as wholeheartedly as I am, then you would understand.
Nonetheless, in 2014 I had met a viewer of mine from my YouTube channel who had befriended me on Facebook. Talking as friends off and on for a few years, I had seen that we had a strong soul connection. However, I was not looking for a relationship and he was a bit younger than me. He and I lost contact throughout the early start of the year in 2016. He had lost his grandfather, then his grandmother who had raised him. He and his mother had a falling out of sorts, and he eventually had to leave home. It was a hard time for him where the grief had caused him to act aggressively and irrationally. He moved in with his family whom were associated with a religious organization that I had discovered earlier on, had been targeting me. I didn’t trust the situation since he had denied ever belonging to their church, which I knew was untrue. I did enjoy the friendship and conversation though, and since I would be heading to California anyway… I decided it was time for us to meet and for me to perhaps find answers.
In 2017 it is no secret to anyone that I did meet with him. I don’t think many people really understood. I went for it because I wanted to reconnect of course, but I was also looking for information as to other connections that this person had to a religious organization that had been playing a very strong role in the troubles that I experienced throughout my work.
I don’t want to say anymore because a lot of that has been resolved. The relationship itself though, was very controlling and abusive. I definitely saw that a lot of the opposition that was placed upon me from their religious connections through him, but it came to an end. Healing the person and working him toward change definitely brought down a lot of the trolling, gang stalking and censorship. There were still some censorship and gang stalking issues that I had to bypass though, but whatever remained was beyond all of that.￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼ I just really wanted this person to heal. I’m the type of person that even if someone is hurting me or against me at the time, I will do whatever it takes to help that person to find the true nature of their soul and to heal while becoming a much better person. And that did take place, so I continued the connection onward. It was a dreamy time in California and very fairytale like. However my need for answers still lingered. Each vision that I had about each step and situation out there that I foresaw pertaining to the religious organization came true every step the way. I texted Amber as each new vision came and I saw in LIVE time as they happened. I was right about a lot of things that connected the dots. For example, we had a black Toyota that had been stalking us in New Jersey and I told Amber that I foresaw him owning a black Toyota. Approaching his car, it was a black Toyota indeed. I also predicted that I would be taken to his church even though he denied being a member. That Sunday he had told me that we were going to sight see but we ended up parking in the parking lot of the church. He asked me to go in to give it a chance.
But why lie? It seemed that he was covering up a lot with his denials, but while still trying to bring me to his church. Many people would have thought I was crazy to even get involved but to be honest with you it was all for a greater reason helping somebody out of a very difficult position that they were in in their life and to bring them pure innocent unconditional love whereas they had not ever had any. If a person cannot endure or persevere through the hard times with someone then they do not have unconditional love. And unconditional love is something I have for all people￼￼￼
I wanted to help him, and we did get very close in the process. He came to stay with me in New Jersey from the end of 2017 to the start of 2018. I endured a lot of abuse in order to help him, but it was worth it. It always is when you can see a person change and better themselves. I did soul auditing, spirit upgrading, mind control deprogramming, and karma healing. At the end of working through it, he changed into a virtuous person as much as he could. He got a job with a 401k and making great money, and while he still associates with his family…he learns about spirituality with me instead. There are still some abusive tendencies, but in time I hope to bypass that through love and realizations inspired by me, in him. He proposed to me last year. I did not have an answer. It was left up in the air but we still continued forward.
I ended up having my daughter Adriel in 2018. However, I asked Jonathan to leave and head back to California long before that. As an Oracle, I needed my space and like with my older children, I felt that any outside influences not of pure angelic energy may interfere in the person that I wanted to raise Adriel to be. He understood and left. He would visit a few times a year to be a role in Adree’s life.
Being otherworldly, I didn’t have a time of the month as most women do. And believe me, it wasn’t because of any hormonal issues or anything having to do with menopause because I’m far too young for any of that. I have a very good bill of health. I have always stuck to a breath diet and as many people know from previous blogs and videos, I don’t sleep. So those were always things that I had to cope with being of a higher vibration here. I also have RH negative blood type, so that did not make things easy as far as adapting here either.￼
￼ I had some troubles with my other two children yes. But as my vibration rose higher and higher throughout the years, when it came to bringing Adriel into the world, I definitely experienced a great deal of hardship. Heaven had told me, just like I had read many other soul origins all throughout the world, that my own daughter’s origin was going to be that of my very own soul child back home who my spiritual mother was caring for. Archangel Ariel had had her with her all of this time. I was honored because I certainly needed somebody to take over for me when I am no longer here myself.￼ Truthfully, there were a few souls who could be born to me.￼ I was meant to have a large family.￼ But before asking the heavens to bring my soul daughter, I was told that I was going to have a boy. He was going to grow up to be a great leader. My friend Bella, as well as my daughter Amber had had dreams about him simultaneously. A little boy with blond hair, and very sharp mysterious eyes. The very first time that I had a vision of him, in the vision I had been at my old home in West Berlin New Jersey and I had come into my yard which was full of fruits that were not of this world. Tornadoes spun crazy in the sky and so I ran for the door. The door was attached to a very tall staircase of wood. At the top there was a deck.￼￼ On the deck I saw my entire family. Although, my father had not been there (he wasn’t even deceased yet). But the babies father was there, although he did not look like himself.
It was almost as if everybody did not see me. The baby’s father gave me a side glance almost to give me some kind of silent message that he indeed acknowledged my presence but he ushered my family inside as if to ignore me. Fear struck into my heart. The way that he ignored me and took my family inside and then having the tornadoes spinning crazily above me￼, I ran for the stairs. But as I reached them, a little boy with blond hair appeared at the bottom of them. I fell dead at his feet.￼
The meaning of the vision…
The fact my father who was living at the time was not in the vision of my family foretold of his not being with us anymore by the time that the little boy would come into my life, since my little boy was found at the bottom of the staircase. The tornadoes spinning wildly had represented the fact that the little boy would come into the world, during a time when the world would be in chaos. The images of my family being led into the house by Adriel’s father showed that he would play an active role in our lives after my dad was gone. The fact that they all couldn’t see me except him, revealed that I would experience a great deal of separation from my family during the time period that I had the little boy. My childhood home represented sadness. It was a home of misery caused by demonic presences brought there by my grandfather. It meant that in the times ahead, there would be sadness and strife. As I died at the feet of the little boy signified that I myself would go through a significant change, the end to how things had been up to that point, from that moment forward. The world itself now is experiencing great change in that way, and I am too individually like most people during 2020’s global pandemic, depression and economic collapse.
I had shared this information with my friend and in turn, she had expressed to me the dream that she had. The same little boy was within it. We were planning for the boy, and even had bought boys clothes. But then I suddenly had a change of heart, as it was still pretty early in the pregnancy before the soul was to enter the physical vessel in incarnation. I wasn’t planning on having any more children, and so I asked the heavens if I could have the girl instead.￼￼￼ Thats when my soul daughter was promised to come instead.
I really wanted a little girl so that I could train her to be an Oracle just like myself. I had been raised naturally as one with influences that were natural to my environment, my family and by heaven. I had taught both of my other children but I wanted someone that had an angelic soul pure like my own, that would really take a great deal of love and pride in helping other people. I have always felt that doll parties and bows were so wonderful when raising a daughter. And after all, I had just gotten done raising a son. ￼￼ I was blessed that heaven heard my position.
I had expressed to my friend Bella that I was more than likely having the girl instead. I went for a DNA scan at 12 weeks pregnant, and found out that I was indeed carrying a baby girl.￼￼ It’s strange enough though, just a year before on September 26th 2017 the exact day that she would be born a year later, I had predicted in my group on Facebook that I had a vision where I was holding a baby girl. ￼ I had already foreseen that it was going to be a girl anyway, but whenever heaven asks me to do something, I’m always ready to do it. I would have had the boy if it were truly commanded.
It was nice that I had a choice though.
Throughout my pregnancy with Adriel it was very difficult. Being Rh negative, I needed blood transfusions because I was hemorrhaging. I also suffered from a great iron deficiency and had some very strange markings appearing on my legs. She was a breech baby herself, and would be a repeat C-section.
That night at the hospital, the nurse told me that it was strange because most of the mothers scheduled that night, were all of Rh negative blood type as well. I had not picked the date for the C-section myself but rather the doctor did. I found it very odd myself when she told me that. What was also odd, is that they kept my baby longer than they should have after she was born. Most babies are supposed to come home the same day as the mother but my child was kept a whole week after. She did not have any health issues which really made it seem odd especially after being told that most of the babies were born to Rh negative mothers too.
The one nurse at the hospital had recognized me from my YouTube videos and she treated me with great respect. She had even gone out and bought a full vegetarian platter for my daughter to eat while she was there. My daughter Amber had been there in the delivery room instead of the baby’s father. He was still living far away in California. I am so used to raising children on my own, and to continue to do so had been my wish from the very beginning. ￼￼￼￼￼
That was my story with Adriel. She had been very difficult to bring into the world and I was lucky that I was able to. The doctors told me that the odds of having a child without a “time of month” in years, was not very high. After having had her for about six months, I realized that there were times approaching in the world where￼￼ many of us would face the tribulation. During those times, children would be confined indoors. Knowing all of this, I thought it would be a good idea to give my child a sibling. My other two siblings were not close in age at all. They were close no matter the age difference though.￼
I put up a poll on my Instagram page when Adriel was about 5 or 6 months old, asking what others thought if I were to have another child for Adriel not to be lonely. Plus, having them play together, I could focus on my work a little more with them being occupied. I love being a parent, and of course throughout the day we would have many activities, homeschooling and a lot of other creative things going on. But I still needed to have time and attention focused upon all of the people that genuinely came to me for help.￼￼ It could work! Many of my associates on Instagram had voted yes. It was nice to have their support. I went for it right away! I asked Jonathan to assist me in having another child through seeing a doctor.
It was not an easy thing to go through, trying to have another child. Some of my circumstances were not the same except in some instances. I still had fertility issues as a result of my vibration being high, that I had transcended human functions like a menstruation, food and sleep. And, I was still a mother doing it all alone again. It hadn’t changed that Adriel’s father lived far away either￼. I would need to somehow seek some kind of way to make this happen.
It was a huge adventure in just trying to conceive a baby with the help of spells, and treatments.￼ It did not take long, but yet it was a great time of anticipation.￼ I would bring the little boy into the world that I had seen in the vision, after all. I had already known it would be him, and I was greatly excited about it. I would finally have two little angels by my side, to go through life with until the end of it.
While I was carrying Alexander, I had a great bit of difficulty. Again, I had another iron deficiency. And the position of his growth was on an angle with his feet up against my spine. It was hard for me to walk￼￼. He was also a breech baby at different moments of my carrying him. “Breech” is where a babies head is up instead of facing down, which is needed for birth.￼ There were many times that the pressure was so great because he would kick downward. This was around the same time that my father fell extremely ill. My father was about 250 pounds before he died, and in the months leading up to it he had fallen down quite a few times. Whenever he fell, he was so weak and couldn’t get himself back up off the ground. One night, I had to run upstairs from my downstairs living quarters, to see how my father was doing. I did that every night. But when I came up the stairs, my father was laying on the floor. I was so afraid, and so I ran to his assistance and lifted him up with all of my might to get him safely to the sofa. In doing so, I had pulled out my lower abdomen on the right side. For the rest of my pregnancy, Alexander’s weight would add pressure up against the hernia with him switching positions at times. Not to mention that he kept kicking my spine or would kick downward, depending upon where he was facing.
In addition to all of that, for some reason they had cut off my health insurance in August. I was not able to even see a doctor until after October. I ended up being extremely late for my Rh negative shot of RhoGAM. Luckily, Alexander’s blood type was RH negative too, I was relieved to know that there was nothing really to worry about in that regard, except towards the end of the pregnancy. At the end, not only was I in excruciating pain, but Alexander’s amniotic fluid started to go down. No matter how much water I drank to try to replace it, he was in there suffocating by 30 weeks. They decided that they had to take him out by emergency on March 10th of this year.
￼ While there were no weird occurrences surrounding his birth at the hospital such as it was with Adriel… I wasn’t prepared for another C-section that’s for sure. I was devastated because even though I had already had two of them, they were very painful and insufferable. The doctors had all said that there were some women that actually requested C-sections because it was quicker, but to me it felt like somebody was probing around and tugging away at my organs. I’m sorry to be so explicit, but that’s exactly what it feels like! On the way to the operating room I got so afraid, that I almost ran in the opposite direction LOL.
When Alexander came out, he had great respiratory distress. They put him on breathing tubes to help him to breathe because he had very little amniotic fluid in the womb except he did have a little bit up around his face. I feel that heavenly father did that so that he could continue thriving just up until they took them out. Otherwise, he very well may have died.￼￼￼ When pulling him out, that remaining fluid filled his lungs. He was on the breathing tubes for awhile. He had also lost some weight.
However, the main issue was that his hips had some issues because of being in the womb as a breech and not really fitting in there since I have a very small body.￼ I am 5 foot 2 and 125-130lbs. Had he been like any other normal baby, he would have been on the breathing tube’s for a few days, but I saw a lot of spiritual guides around him. They helped him to start breathing on his own again fast. It seemed like he wanted to get home with his family himself, because right in the middle of all of that the coronavirus was spreading rapidly. I was told that one of the nurses during delivery that day, had been exposed to it and all of us were to be checked. Luckily, she had only had the flu.￼ Nevertheless, Alexander was released from the hospital pretty quickly and made his way home.
The reason I stayed quiet
I posted my first picture up on Instagram of Alexander after he was born. Before that, nobody had even known that I was having another baby. I didn’t announce it publicly. There were a few different reasons as to why, that I hope many will understand. One of the reasons was that usually when I am going through a challenging time, people will not want to come to me for help so as not to burden me more. I never want anyone to feel as though they have to put themselves to the side for me. While I do appreciate that they are considerate, I am here to help, regardless of my own personal life. So I did not mention anything because others were having such a difficult time in their personal lives and in their spiritual journeys. I wanted to remain as a support system.
The other reason was because I had a lot of negative energy sent to me when I had given birth to my daughter Adriel. I knew Alexander would be a bit fragile and so, I waited until he was in a healthy place to announce his arrival in my life.
I love being a mother, and I certainly don’t mind being a parent on my own. I am very thankful that I have the people in my life that I do.￼￼￼ I genetically have a really great father for both of my new kids, regardless of the difficulties that I had with him in the beginning or even the hardships that I had in conception, needing the help of treatments and doctors. Both of my kids are blessings and miracles.
All kids are.￼￼
Parenting & The times
￼Another reason why I had stayed quiet was because of all of the predictions that I have put up in the Angelic Herald. ￼ Since the angels have been giving me information about what is to take place, those predictions had been coming true one after the other immediately after I had predicted them. I knew that it was only a matter of time last year, as to when everything would kind of escalate to a climax.￼￼ I knew that people would both be afraid and skeptical. It would be a very stressful time for others, in trying to remain positive. I wanted everyone to know that they had my focus and attention. I also￼ wanted everyone to pay attention to the important things, continuing to work on themselves for greater growth and change, and to pay attention to the predictions in order to better prepare themselves. ￼I didn’t want anyone to place too much focus on what was going on with me personally. I added to my soul contract with additional purposes anyway and would be here for a bit, why be lonely doing so.
Hey I didn’t care about being judged. Obviously, I know a lot of personal things about a lot of people from my visions, and I judge them. That was never an issue. If others judge me, how much better of a person are they then? Instead, others should celebrate in the joy for me, with me.￼ As I have with them, in their accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with a person having a relationship, or even having children.
Overall, It’s always been my dream to build a very large family. I had hoped to have some of my greatest friends that I had gained through my work, come and join me in a beautiful safe place. But for now, I have the people that I do personally, in my life who have brought me a great deal of joy. I am more than happy to say that I have finally created a good part to creating my own￼ reality. I figure anyone that wants to be here as a part of my reality, should be. We live in very dangerous times where having people around us that genuinely love us, should always be included.￼ I’m not sure what will become of Jonathan and I or whether I’ll take him up on his proposal finally but I guess that remains also something to consider and perhaps make it announcement of later in the future should I decide to go that route. Like I said, I do like being a parent on my own. It’s very true that no one can understand this life that I live being isolated from outsider energy to keep my visions pure but at least now I don’t have to be lonely with the two little ones, and eldest children beside me.￼￼
So here begins my adventure in helping others to parent from an angelic viewpoint. I have had healthy pregnancies and very difficult ones.￼ I had mentioned wanting to start my parenting and rising before but I put it off until I at least brought my last little one into the world as this will be the last child that I ever have. From this point forward, I can no longer have children. I was having trouble from the beginning anyhow. Always have.
￼Additionally, I did start the spiritually awkward Instagram page full of parenting advice” that you can learn from yourself or teach your children and family. I started that way back in October of 2018￼￼ when I posted this pic:
I truly hope that you will join me for little parenting tips on that page. If you’re not familiar with it, the username is @spiritually_awkward￼. I’m really excited about it and nothing has made me more proud than to help lead the career of helping so many people, and to have really brought the four beautiful people into the world that I have. I have also had the honor and privilege of raising other people’s children to off and on ￼￼ throughout the years. Children and animals love an angel’s energy and way, and so it is always a part of my every day life to be richly surrounded by such￼!
See you soon and thank you for reading. It’s good to know that there are good hearted people out there in the world who are interested and understand.￼
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